I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
