I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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