Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
need another drink. this is the easiest way
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
