So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
