Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
