We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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