Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
