I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
