I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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