wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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