accomplished twins. life is a go
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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