I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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