watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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