I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
