Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
