She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
