anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
