North Korea, Best Korea!
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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