Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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