Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
