Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
