he wants to bone in the snuggie
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
