He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
