So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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