windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Randomize
