all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
