so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
