Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
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we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
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And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
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