I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
