wat bout pragnant strippers??
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
i dont even know how to be here
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
