i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
In America we eat man semen.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
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