I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize