Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
