Texts From Last Night

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  (705): View more from Ontario

  he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me

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  (705): he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me http://tfl.nu/ycl5
  Replies (2) Good night (854) Bad night (1685)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!

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  (720): you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night! http://tfl.nu/g3lv
  Replies (10) Good night (3799) Bad night (1060)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..

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  (310): I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas.. http://tfl.nu/m0nn
  Replies (24) Good night (3465) Bad night (883)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?

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  (614): Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right? http://tfl.nu/9010
  Replies (17) Good night (4844) Bad night (669)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.

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  (615): His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary. http://tfl.nu/s0bc
  Replies (15) Good night (887) Bad night (5154)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.

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  (706): I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night. http://tfl.nu/vtqv
  Replies (26) Good night (1025) Bad night (3968)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole

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  (617): just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole http://tfl.nu/otvq
  Replies (436) Good night (56566) Bad night (7033)
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.

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  (323): Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it. http://tfl.nu/2u3k
  Replies (9) Good night (2954) Bad night (871)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.

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  (208): He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife. http://tfl.nu/5zhr
  Replies (8) Good night (704) Bad night (2324)
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid

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  (231): if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid http://tfl.nu/52hr
  Replies (3) Good night (744) Bad night (2042)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.

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  (513): If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy. http://tfl.nu/099u
  Replies (7) Good night (1170) Bad night (515)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.

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  (303): I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes. http://tfl.nu/8g0z
  Replies (6) Good night (941) Bad night (900)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you

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  (707): He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you http://tfl.nu/2xma
  Replies (2) Good night (912) Bad night (368)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock

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  (914): I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock http://tfl.nu/lqr6
  Replies (1) Good night (714) Bad night (296)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.

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  (989): Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy. http://tfl.nu/ycqx
  Replies (1) Good night (505) Bad night (254)

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