Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
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