Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(617): View more from Massachusetts

So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.

Fav 13 3070 999
share tweet
(706): View more from Georgia

Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.

Fav 9 5584 1297
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(317): View more from Indiana

if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?

(317): View more from Indiana

all hypothetical of course

Fav 14 5855 1584
share tweet
(806): View more from Texas

What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???

Fav 30 4951 1817
share tweet
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
Read it at the TFLN blog
(503): View more from Oregon

They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?

Fav 6 3141 1065
share tweet
(503): View more from Oregon

Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.

Fav 13 2160 3673
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(661): View more from California

It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring

Fav 8 1898 1066
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(209): View more from California

i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious

Fav 5 1387 776
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(303): View more from Colorado

Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.

Fav 1 86 9
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT