I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
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3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
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I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.