I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
