I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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