ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
