quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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