giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
