I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers