She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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