God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
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