You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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