Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
