Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
