I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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