bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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