M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Randomize
