Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
How does one acquire holy water?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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