best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Randomize
