Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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