I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
