I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
