Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
