So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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