Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
