all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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