I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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