bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize