Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
