mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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