I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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