Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
