You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
