She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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