It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Randomize
